Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
