Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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