Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
if you like me you must not know who I am
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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