ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
