she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
