Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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