That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
