When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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