Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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