i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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