We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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