tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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