It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He better not be in your backpack
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
