So drunk its hurt
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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