So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Success! We fucked roommates!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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