You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
