Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
