From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Im part way to drunk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize