he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
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