Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I still have a little drunk in my system
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
