She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
