NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
