Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
