Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
