found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she told me i tasted like america
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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