Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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