id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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