so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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