In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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