One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You ruined the universe
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
