Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
