Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
