he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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