that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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