if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
