Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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