I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
