ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
