I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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