I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
