just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
