Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
MIDGETS
????
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
