By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Vodka?
Forever.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
