your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
