I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
