Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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