Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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