Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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