I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
