I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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