hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize