garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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