god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
