Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
