I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
