so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
