Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
