you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you never un-have a 4some
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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