So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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