My first STD was from a foam party
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
