I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
that's an acceptable place to lick
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
