i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
