"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
