dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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