Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
