do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
birth control should be required to get into college
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
