He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
